Youth sports provide more than just the opportunity for children to stay active and learn new skills. For parents, they are a valuable space for teaching resilience, self-discipline, and the importance of a balanced perspective. Here are five bold perspectives for parents to adopt as they cheer on their kids from the sidelines in 2025.
1. “Enjoy Yourself”: Let Your Kids See You, Not Just Hear You at Games
Often, parents focus so much on the “right” instructions, techniques, and strategies for their kids, but what’s equally important is the simple act of showing up. Just being there, in the crowd, as a supportive presence, means more than many parents realize. As Jeff Nelligan, a noted commentator on American parenting, states, “Leading from the front means always showing up.” Parents should avoid the temptation to coach from the stands and instead let their kids experience the game on their own terms.
By watching their kids make their own decisions and face challenges, parents provide valuable opportunities for their children to develop autonomy. Instead of offering unsolicited advice during the game, take a step back, enjoy the moment, and let your child grow through their own experiences.
2. “Just Get the Ball to Louie”: Your Kid Doesn’t Have to Be the Star
In every team, there’s usually one standout player, the “Louie” of the group. Instead of pushing unrealistic expectations on children to always be the hero, parents should encourage them to understand their role within the team. Nelligan recalls a lesson he taught his sons when a coach shouted, “Just get the ball to Louie!” His sons came to realize that contributing to the team’s success doesn’t always mean being the one to score the winning point.
Sports are a team effort, and each player’s role is crucial. Parents can teach their children the importance of being self-aware and knowing how they fit into the team dynamic, whether as the star player or as someone who supports the team’s success in other ways.
3. “It’s the End of the World”: Learning More From Loss Than Win
Losses can feel devastating, but they offer invaluable lessons that victories can’t. As Nelligan writes in his book, “Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.” It’s in those tough moments of defeat that children can truly develop resilience, learn to manage their emotions, and understand that setbacks are a natural part of life. Parents should emphasize the value of perseverance and sportsmanship when their children lose, teaching them how to cope with disappointment and bounce back stronger.
Resilience isn’t built through easy wins but through facing challenges head-on and learning from them. It’s essential for parents to acknowledge the emotional impact of losses while guiding their kids toward a healthier, more constructive response.
4. “For God’s Sake, I Don’t Want the Heel”: Humor Over Lectures
Sometimes, the best way to help a child through a difficult moment is with humor rather than serious advice. Nelligan emphasizes the power of humor in parenting, especially in the context of sports. Rather than lecturing a child about how they should have played, using humor to lighten the mood can help kids take themselves less seriously and reduce pressure. A funny comment or a playful gesture can often break the tension and shift the focus from frustration to enjoyment.
Humor can also help ease the anxiety surrounding big games or tough situations. When parents offer a humorous perspective, they teach their children that not everything in life requires a serious response and that laughter is often the best way to navigate challenges.
5. “Setting the Example”: Conduct and Sportsmanship Don’t Require Skill
Good sportsmanship isn’t just about how well a child plays the game; it’s about how they conduct themselves off the field. Basic behaviors, like washing their uniform, looking their coach in the eye, or showing respect to teammates and opponents, are qualities parents should emphasize. Nelligan shares how his sons learned to maintain a high standard of conduct in sports, a lesson that extends far beyond the field.
As parents, leading by example is one of the most important things you can do. Demonstrating respect, patience, and sportsmanship encourages children to carry those values into every aspect of their lives. Whether your child wins or loses, these lessons will be invaluable as they grow.
Final Thoughts
Youth sports offer rich opportunities for growth, not only for children but for parents as well. By embracing these five bold perspectives—showing up, supporting the team, learning from loss, using humor, and setting a good example—parents can help their kids build resilience, self-confidence, and character both on and off the field. In 2025, let’s focus on fostering environments that nurture growth, not just competition.
